Updates

Fat Tuesday?  Ash Wednesday? Lent?  No dairy, no meat lasted about a week and a half.  Then I realized I was hungry ALL the time and decided to go back to my normal diet, which was actually healthier....  So another fail on things I try to do.

Also, I mentioned earlier (during my busy season/studying post) that I was trying to get my company to sponsor us for the Gasparilla Distance Classic.  I was able to get the company to sponsor us, there was actually already a gentleman in the office who was organizing it, so I worked with him, and my department and I think we ended up with about 20 people from my department who signed up for the race.  I ended up doing the 15K instead of the 5K, and the corporate team I was on came in 1st place!

Jesse and I at the end of the 15K

We also had an end of busy season bowling event for my department, and my bowling team won highest score and most creative name, which was "I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter." I only have one picture from the bowling event, but there are more, so I'm going to try and get copies of them.

George, Dave, Anthony, Jessica, myself, and Brian

I have continued to work out, and dropped down to minus 9 pounds since I began working out again in December.  I've kind of plateaued at minus 9 pounds and decided I needed to start mixing up my work outs.  Instead of doing classes with the girls from work, I started working out  in the morning with a boy, sometimes boys, from work doing strength training. I've added to that runs during the week with said boy from morning work out and another boy (not from the morning work out) whom I also work with. I am still staying at the same weight, but there is a difference in my body and I can tell I am much stronger.  I also recognize that I have severe body image issues.  I find I obsess way too much over how I look, so I'm trying to work on that issue, but really I think just being healthy will help it.  At least my obsession leads to mostly healthy behavior and not harmful behavior (beyond the fact that I spend too much energy focusing on body image).  I just have to watch what I say in front of my nieces as I don't want them to experience the kind of self doubt and obsession that comes with low self body image.

I received my scores back from the last section of the CPA exam, BEC, and I scored an 87.  I have now completed two sections (I also completed FAR with an 84), and have begun to study for REG.  My strength training/running friend from work is also taking REG next, so for the first time I am studying with someone else.  This both helps me to focus, when we're studying, and distracts me from starting to study.  But we've actually kept up a good pace through the materials and should have plenty of time to final review together before we take the exam. Still no date set for when I am going to sit.

Since the gift of the ring, I've tried to contact Mark just to talk to him.  I do miss him and I wish he hadn't completely shut me out of his life.  Still no reply from him on any of my messages.  *sad face*  So I was just Facebook creeping his page, and really, just old photos that I posted of when we were together and I came across our last picture as a couple.  This picture was taken on New Year's Eve in Mexico City, literally hours before we broke up.  How is that for life documentation, we don't look so happy.

Sunshine

I've got my pirate shirt ready for what is shaping up into a very nice birthday weekend.  Having a birthday in January is not that great when you work in public accounting because it is BUSY in late January.  Last year on my birthday I was working in tax and going to school.  My birthday was on a Wednesday and  I worked at an internship that I had started the week before.  I didn't know anyone, and no one knew it was my birthday.  I worked until 5:30, and then immediately went to school.  My twin sister went out with all of our friends, but I didn't get out of school until 9pm.

This year my birthday is on a Thursday and I have to work 11 hours.  On top of working long days, I am taking BEC the Saturday after my birthday. Initially, to get approved to take the CPA exam during busy season (there was an issue with my NTS expiring) I had to agree to come into work after sitting for the exam (if you've taken a section of the CPA exam you know you are just mentally wiped afterward), and then to make up any additional hours the Sunday after that, which would have meant my birthday weekend was going to suck.

Luckily, we had a meeting at 8:30pm before leaving work about possibly working late on Friday, and half a day Saturday morning (when I will be taking the exam) in order that everyone can leave and go to Gasparilla.  For those not from Tampa, Gasparilla is a month long pirate festival.  Gasparilla time is very neat in Tampa because the city really changes, especially in South Tampa.  They put up bleachers along Bayshore Blvd and start blocking off street parking, which isn't so cool, but all of the houses will put up their pirate flags as well.  There are so many events, that it seems that everyone has some sort of Gasparilla experience.  It includes three parades, a kid's parade, a day parade, and a night parade.  The parades are listed in order of the drunken debauchery that takes place from least to most. There is also an Art's Festival and a Distance Classic race series.  In addition to getting off for the day parade, I have also submitted a proposal for people from my department to be sponsored by work for the Gasparilla 5K Corporate Team Challenge.  The proposal is in the final stages of acceptance, so we should find out tomorrow if it gets final approval.

All in all, I've been on a really positive keel lately.  Work is busy and that can be stressful.  I can see some of my nervous habits cropping up.  I've been rubbing my face and picking at any little scab or loose string or other little oddity I come across.  This caused me to breakout last week, but even that hasn't got me down.  The weather has been beautiful this last week and I've been using my lunch breaks to study at the park.  It is weird how sometimes I am just so positive and outgoing and content, and then for a little while I just get down and a little quiet and introverted.  I'll take the quiet times for weeks like these.  I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my continuing to work out.  Being active has always made such a difference in my psyche.  I know that I let the guilt from being sedentary and making unhealthy choices simmer and corrode my confidence.  Now that I've been working out and eating healthier I just feel positive and hopeful.  I even saw some ab muscles when I was blow drying my hair at the gym this morning.  My stomach is still a little softer than I would like  above that, but it felt like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, so to speak.

A Month Later

EXAM UPDATE

I finished the Financial section of the CPA exam, but the scores have not been released yet.  Scores are likely to be released around mid-December...soon.  The good news is that I felt OK walking out of the exam, the bad news is that feeling OK is no guarantee.  I am currently in Denver, CO, after being in NYC for the first part of the week.  Since I am on vacation, I did not bring the code I need to access my score, as I don't want to focus energy on something I have no further power over. This is the first time I have thought about it since the exam. Studying for the next section, BEC (business) has commenced, with plans to sit in early January.

VACATION UPDATE

I was pretty excited to visit both New York and Denver when it was cold.  In the past, I've only gone when the weather was hot or mild.  Turns out it is currently pretty mild in Denver, but it was pretty cold in New York.  This is my second trip to New York and fourth trip to Denver this year.  It might be time to start branching out as far as destinations go. New York is definitely where I want to live. I already have a list of potential roommates and a list of potential neighborhoods: Brooklyn here I come!  Before the move I'd like to have been with my company for one year, and have finished the CPA exam. I will make this happen.

My new office?!

RUNNING UPDATE

My running has been slacking since I began hardcore studying for the CPA exam, but I've made it out once a week (shame on me).  I just got back from a run in Denver, and at >5,000 feet above sea level and 44 degrees, it was pretty hard on my lungs.  I only went 1.25 miles and I had to take breaks to walk. My goal is to run the 2011 Gasparilla Half Marathon.  I am currently behind where I would like to be, but with dedication I can still do it.

GOALS

I am making the following goals for myself: (1) I will stick to a 1,200 - 1,500 calorie a day diet, staying closer to the 1,200 range (2) Be physically active for at LEAST 30 minutes each day (3) Spend time on Becker at LEAST 5 days a week (4) Spend at LEAST 2 days a week on Rosetta Stone/Spain.

I have already begun my 1,200 calories a day, and I've been pretty consistent about staying on Target.  I did not count calories while I was in NY, but now that I am in Denver I have been tracking again and staying on target.  SparkPeople has been a huge help in not only tracking my calories, but it is good for inputting activities as well.  I probably should hold off on the Spanish lessons until after the CPA exam, but I'm pretty excited about them.    This seems like a lot, when you factor in working and the impending busy season, but I just need to focus myself and concentrate on meeting my goals.  Besides, the Becker goal is only through the beginning of January, and then I'm taking a break for busy season.  I plan on taking the final two exams in either April, depending on how busy we are at work, definitely May, and possibly the final exam in July, since June is a black-out month for the CPA.

Fried

That is how I feel.  Particularly, that is how my brain feels. Absolutely fried. Remember those old commercials with the egg: "This is your brain." Crack open the egg and fry it.  "This is your brain on drugs."  It should be "This is your brain after three consecutive 60 hour work weeks and staying up late to study for the CPA exam so that you are only getting 5 hours of sleep a night."

Peak period was supposed to have ended two weeks ago, but we're still going.  We are leaving earlier, but the days still don't stop.  I work nonstop from the time I come in until the time I leave.  During peak, peak period, I was using my lunches to study for the exam, but now that peak period is over and we're supposed to be getting out at 5:30, I've been working through lunch and still staying until 6:30 or 7:00.

This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't coming home and starting on Becker.  I was supposed to take FAR this coming Monday, instead I postponed until the following Monday, which is also the last opportunity to take it this year...before the test changes.  The Becker FAR material is a textbook, a 9 section textbook, and each section has a 4 hour lecture and 4 hours worth of homework problems.  Not to mention practice exams and simulations.  I am just finishing section 5 and I am behind schedule.  As I was starting to do the homework, at midnight after working 10.5 hours today and studying for several hours once I got home, I absolutely couldn't think.

That is where I am now.  Near tears.  I'm just so stressed out.  I can't even try to get through the homework for section 5 of FAR tonight because my brain will not function. Or I can and did try, but it was counterproductive.  I have several due dates tomorrow at work, and half of my team has no work at all.  Which is good because they will be able to take some of the work off my plate, but frustrating because I still have work coming in.  On top of everything else, I haven't been out for a run all week because I was sick Monday through Wednesday, on top of being pressed for time.  I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin today at work.  I've been sedentary for a week now and my body is absolutely in revolt.  It is a horrible feeling.

So there is my rant.  My brain feels all sorts of wired in an approaching insomnia way, and my body is exhausted and confused and ansty.  I am going to attempt to go to sleep for 6 hours and then wake up for a run.  Then I will go to work tomorrow, parcel out my work so that our whole team can flex out early, finish the homework for section 5, and then go out for the sushi and sake happy hour I haven't been to in weeks to unwind.  Then I can get home around 8 - 8:30, start on section 6, and then go to bed.  Saturday I will sleep in and then this weekend, if I can get through 3 sections, I will be in good shape.  If I can get through 4 it would be amazing.  I will take care of my body, my mind, and my nerves.  BREATH.

Picture Pages Pt. 1

This is just cuteness.  My mom's sweet dog, Iris.

Sunset from the office window.  We have a great vantage point, but it is still a little sad.

Made it out early enough to catch the sunset on my run.

Getting more adventurous with my salad.  Added some frozen blackberries to my yogurt. 

 I am loving my salads.  This has spring mix greens, peppercorn turkey breast, orange peppers, grape tomatoes, feta, and dried cranberries, and it will have honey mustard dressing, of course.

Can't Stop Moving

A couple of weeks ago I asked my mother what Courtney and I were like when we were my niece's age (7, almost 8).  She said she couldn't remember.  My mother used to have a lot of migraines.  Some days she would just lay on the couch for the entire day with the lights off.  My mother said that the one thing she remembered about Courtney and I from that time was that we never stopped moving, we were just like blurs in her peripheral vision and that it was hard when she was having migraines.

So I have a desk job...and I still don't like to sit still.  I get very antsy at work and for the last 7 years of working a desk job, I have come up with ways to move.  I drink a lot of water, so I have to get up several times to refill my glass, and subsequently, use the bathroom.  I've taken walks around the block on my breaks.  I run up and down the stairs, and go to the printer, and organize and put away files.  Anything to find an excuse to move when I have a minute of downtime.  

We were recently in our slow period and because I had so much extra time I would just get up and walk around the office.  Get some coffee, wash my coffee mug, fill my water, get a snack, walk to say hi to someone, do some work, print my files to the printer on the other side of the office, get my papers, do some work, get some more water, use the bathroom....and on it went. Luckily, I am extremely efficient when I am completing my work.  Really, I am very good at my job.  

I was having lunch with a coworker, B, the other day and had asked him to join me for a walk after we ate.  While we were walking b looked at me and point blank asked, "where do you go when you're not at your desk?" This is the first time someone confronted me about my wandering.  I was a bit taken aback..."I don't know. I just walk around the office."  

Maybe it is time to reign in my wandering before other people start to notice.  My only consolation is that B probably notices what I do more than other people at the office since we're friends and he sits behind me.  Also, I don't wander when we are busy, only when I don't have something I could be doing.

Staying on Track

What a crazy week it has been.  Peak season is upon us once again.  Luckily, I was able to avoid weekend work, but I did log 50 hours this week.  In public accounting we have the equivalent to the "freshmen 15." I'm trying to stay active despite the workload and avoid the busy season weight gain that comes as a result of long sedentary days and the unhealthy dinners that the company orders when we work late.  I missed my run on one of my 10 hour days, mostly because I gave in and ate the BBQ pulled pork they brought in for dinner.  Something about BBQ, baked beans, and mac n' cheese just doesn't lend itself to running.  The next day I finished my work quickly and thought I would be able to get out early enough for a run, but we ended up getting a work request in at 5:30, so I ended up working 12.5 hours.  I had told myself I wasn't going to make excuses for not making healthy choices, so I changed into my running clothes in the parking garage and headed out for my run.  I didn't end up getting there until 10 PM, but my route is well lit and even at 10 PM there are other people out for walks/jogs/bike rides.  I could tell that I was covering the miles quickly (relative to me) and felt really good about it. 

I've also been getting excited about the lunches I've been packing in my Go Green Lunchbox, which I bought as part of a fundraiser for my nieces' school.  The new designs are decidely more childish than some of the old designs, but I guess I did buy a children's lunchbox.  The design of my lunchbox is a black and white houndstooth, which they no longer carry.  I've been using this lunchbox for a while, and lately I've been trying to eat healthier, so the lunch box is convenient and there is enough room for not only my lunch, but also for snacks throughout the day. 

Here is my lunch on Thursday, that is the first day I decided to start taking pictures of my lunch:

 The side salad compartment is actually where a stainless steel drink holder goes. 

My mom has been making chicken salad and keeping it in the fridge.  I love my mom's chicken salad and it is easy to throw into a pita with some romaine for lunch.  I got her to begin using plain greek yogurt in the chicken salad instead of mayo.  She adds a little bit of honey to the yogurt to sweeten it up. There is salad dressing at the cafeteria at work, so I can grab some honey mustard there.  This was the first time I brought a salad in my lunchbox.

I liked the salad so much that I made it my main course the following day:

Now I just need to think of more ideas for my lunches. 

In addition to making myself go for my runs and focusing on what I eat (trying to stay on track especially where snacking is concerned), I have set a running goal for myself.  Last year I was signed up for the Gasparilla half marathon which I didn't end up running because I hurt my knee shortly before the race.  The next race is coming up in February and I would really like to be able to run it this time.  Last year before the race I was up to 9 - 11 mile long runs, I'm currently at three and a half miles, so I've got some work ahead of me.  I also need to add strength work to my currently all cardio regime.  I've noticed that making these changes makes a huge difference in my energy level, my confidence level, and and my overall happiness.  I just get so down and slow when I make poor choices.  I need to remind myself of that when I'm feeling lazy or my work orders the delicious sugar cookies or cakes from Wright's.

An All-In Great Weekend

I had a really great, albeit, contemplative weekend.  The weather has begun to cool off a bit and spending time outside has become much more enjoyable (this is Florida, so the weather cools down here a bit later).

Despite my fabulous weekend, Thursday was a little weird for me.  I have been single now for about 6 months, prior to this I had one other period of my dating life (approx. 12 years total) where I was single for a year.  The first period of being single I was just so massively distraught and down about the way in which my (3 year) relationship ended, that even though I missed companionship, I was not in a place to even think about dating anyone else.  When ending my (2 year) relationship this time around, which is actually the only relationship I've had since the terrible break-up relationship prior to this, things ended rather amicably in a "we're both ready to move on" kind of way.  When I ended the relationship I did want to move on, preferably to something casual and easy where needs could be met and that would be fine, with no other expectations. However, I tend to not be the type of person that forms loose attachments to guys I am only so-so about. I want to feel like someone I am with can be more than someone I am with right now, even if I am not intent on having more in the relationship at the time. I found my few ventures into casual relationships to be disappointing and decided that for the time being I am happy being single, and enjoying life, and not searching for something or someone. My life has settled into a comfortable routine in which I have many non-"relationship"-y relationships, that is, I am finding more time for both friends and family.

Thursday I stayed late to study at the office and then met Andrea out for a free concert downtown after receiving a phone call from her.  I wasn't in the mood to go out, and probably should have heeded this.  All the nights I have gone out despite not really wanting to ended badly, but usually because I drank too much.  I went to meet Andrea at her pseudo-boyfriend's place downtown so we could walk to the concert. I ran into many friends that night, old and new, but all of my interactions with people felt forced and uncomfortable. I guess I just wasn't in a people mood that night.  It also didn't help that the people I was with were paired off for the evening and I ended up feeling like the odd man out.  I turned down invitations to go for drinks after the concert from each of the old friends that I ran into and simply headed home.

Friday we had a team lunch planned for work, which would pair my old work team with our new senior and manager in a social setting for the first time.  We had been working on the new team for a couple of weeks and the transition had been tough.  To be fair to the new senior and manager, they had a lot to live up to, we all loved our old team and our old senior and manager.   Lunch was good and our manager really made an effort to get to know us outside of a work environment.

We needed to do some planning for a Halloween decorating contest at work so after a long lunch, some of my team members and I headed to the store to pick up some supplies.  It was a nice little break from work, especially considering how busy we are going to be coming into peak period. I am lucky to work with the people I do. Working for a big accounting firm can be stressful and intense and frustrating, but the people you work with are usually great. The camaraderie balances the culture, as do the non-peak periods when we all get to relax, and take long lunches, and plan how to decorate the office. After getting back from lunch, we got very little work done until it was time to go home.

After work some coworkers and I headed out for sushi, and ultimately sake.  We ate some delicious food and then decided to go out for a drink, before deciding to head to C's house to drink in a more relaxed environment.  We ended up picking up some beer and chips and  playing board games until 2 am.

Saturday I had plans to decorate the office and to meet up with Andrea to go to the street market.  I collected some tree branches from my mom's brush pile and picked up Andrea, who was going to help us decorate before we went to the market.  It was pretty interesting getting through security at the building with bundles of brush, but we were able to get in to decorate successfully.

After decorating, which ended up taking longer than anticipated, we headed to get something to eat outside at a great little crepe cafe, and then walk around the little village before doing some shopping.

Andrea got a hat and I got some scarves and then we walked to the Saturday market so I could find some pumpkins to carve.  After shopping I went to pick up Josie and drop Andrea off.  At which time Josie and I decided to carve some of the pumpkins I just got.  We had a great time, but unfortunately my older niece was a little disappointed that she did not get to carve a pumpkin too.  Luckily I bought extra pumpkins.  Looks like that will be another special Aunt Bear day.  [Sidenote: my nieces are obsessed with the Ghost Buster's lately.  Josie was doing the Ghost Buster dance for me while we carved pumpkins and telling me all about Slimer. Then I saw Jewel mentioned Ghost Busters in her 'disappointed' blog above.]

We also prepared another decoration that I was going to include in the office decorations.  Which I've since used to scare a couple of people.  

Taking that guy into work on Monday should be interesting.  

Sunday was another beautiful day.  I rode my bike to my sister's house so we could walk to the Sunday market (Fall is such a great time for outdoor markets in Florida).  We took her three kids and her oldest daughter's best friend with us and they collected seeds on the way for their nature journals. We must have run into a dozen people we know both walking to and walking around the market.  Living in a small neighborhood within a big city definitely has it's advantages.